Your man could never.
Hats have always been the sartorial styling trick to completing your outfits. Some (straw hats) have sometimes been more favoured than others (bucket hats), but with no thanks to brands like Chanel and Lacoste, the resurgence of this '90s accessory has taken favour among the fashion set - much to my dismay.
I'm the type of girl that when the fashion set says "jump", I respond with "how high?". Ugly Sandals? Excuse me while I go buy a pair. Satin slip midi skirts? I own six. Tie-dye? Sure, I'll give it a go. But bucket hats? Sorry, but it's a hard pass.
Now don't get me wrong, I love hats. In winter, my head is rarely without a beret. In summer, I dapple between wide-brimmed fedoras and straw boat hats. In my teens, you'd struggle to find a single photo of me without my beloved Cyndi Lauper inspired pork pie hat. Yet, whenever a buckets hat is mentioned, I cringe. I think of hipster Liam Gallagher wannabes who you'll find in the smoking area of The Workman's Club telling discussing their love for Hunter S. Thompson and how, they too, are a feminist. Which, sadly, shows just how little progress we've made since the 1990s.
The bucket hat for men came of age in the 90s, wafting in the same musk-scented wave as Trainspotting and the Britpop wars. The hat was favoured by Reni from the Stone Roses and, to be fair to the accessory, it had a dual purpose. The first was to make the wearer seem as if they could be in Glastonbury's Shangri-La field making double-barrelled finger guns as the DJ played a poorly mixed version Underworld's Born Slippy. The second was to send out the message that the wearer "didn't really care about fashion, you know". The latter was key for any teenage boy who didn't want to be charged with the cardinal sin of Trying Too Hard.
Long before the hats made it to Burberry's catwalk the bucket hat had been taken to rap's bosom, with the wearers of today (including Schoolboy Q, Mac Millers, Tyler The Creator etc.) elevating the styling choices of Run DMC and LL Cool J. However, it's important to note that bucket hats did lose their alleged "cool" factor. As the Madchester and hip-hop genre withered in popularity, the bucket had was kept alive by mahogany-coloured OAPs holidaying in Benidorm.
But like most things in life, millennials are to blame. As this generation grew up, the demand for bucket hats returned, and over the past few years, bucket hats have evolved from an ironic comeback trend to bona fide fashion hat of choice.
But I'm sorry, I don't get it - or at least, I didn't until I laid my eyes upon Love Island Ovie.
Triangle Plaque Nylon Bucket Hat, €250, Prada
Straw Bucket Hat, €16, Warehouse X Shrimps
Floral Print Fisherman Bucket hat, €29, Urban Outfitters
Eclectic Bucket Hat, €30, Weekday
Main image by ITV