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41 Thoughts I Had While Watching GBBO Episode Three

Terrible puns are my bread and butter

Preheat those ovens and soften that butter because this week we are headed back to the bunting-draped tent of our dreams for another week. 

With Jamie having (finally) hung up his apron in last week’s biscuit week, last night's show saw the 11 remaining bakers tackling yeasted tear 'n' share loaves and burger baps before attempting a  masterpiece made from bread for their showstopper. This is always a big week in the tent. With bread, one can’t just whack a load of fondant icing over the mistakes like they often do with a Victoria sponge. There's nowhere to hide in bread, is there? All this tension and bread-based puns to remind us that it’s business as usual on Bake Off. 

If you missed it, now is a good time (really any time is a good time) to pop the kettle on, grab a packet a sliced pan and watch the latest episode but if work or general  life is preventing that from happening - I'm here to help as here are 41 thoughts I had while watching GBBO episode three which is essentially a Great British Bake Off Episode Three recap. 

  1. Another Bake Off, another great shirt from Noel
  2. That biscuit sheep was class, I like Alice. 
  3. I’m not totally convinced Jamie made it home last week. I bet if you zoom in, he’s in that field, playing with the sheep.
  4. God, I love bread. 
  6. Michael has Bread Dread! He’s our champion, isn’t he?
  7. A yeasted tear 'n' share - sounds like a night I'd rather forget. 
  8. You can learn a lot in four days.” Oh sweet Henry, please don't end up like young Jamie. 
  9. Michael is a fitness instructor?!?!? That doesn’t add up at all. 
  10. I feel bad for the irrational hatred I have for Rosie, the woman dedicates her life to animals. I'm a bad person.
  11. Another bread pun from Alice there, nicely done.

  12. What is with all these contestants? Steph works three part-time jobs, has a bunch of hobbies and bakes. How do they fit it all in? I barely have time for a nap after work. 
  13. Amelia hates cheese?! Well, it was nice knowing her.
  14. "I could eat pizza five days a week", Priya is my spirit animal except with a wonderfully sleek and shiny bob. 
  15. I love watching bread prove.
  16. Noel’s bread legs! Marvellous. Bring back The Mighty Boosh.
  17. Wonder if anyone ever argues back if they don't like what Paul and Prue said? Is it like GAA where if you question the ref, they send you off?
  18. "If this works out, then it's another thing I can make. If not, I'll just buy them like everyone else" - a refreshing outlook on life courtesy of Michael. 
  19. "This is the bake-off, not the cook-off" Jeez Paul, how long did it take you to come up with that one?
  20. I wonder what kind of bread Noel would say I am? 
  21. For the brief period of time I was a vegetarian, I can confirm that veggie burgers are rank. 

  24. ‘Scoring bread’ - if Love Island and Bake Off had a child. 
  25. Drinking game idea: take a shot every time Paul says conducive. 
  26. What is with all these fancy breads? What's wrong with a Brennan's half pan? 
  27. Helena looks incredible this episode. The hair tie, the green liner. I would die for this woman. 
  28. Noel's accent attempts reminds me of his Andy Murrary impression - iconic. 
  29. Is it just me or is this one of the most boring bread weeks? Essentially it’s bread, with a pattern on.
  30. Here, did you know Michelle was from Wales?
  31. Tell me Amelia's bread design is a joke? Not even the illustrator could make this look impressive. 
  32. I need Sandi's heartbreak jumper. Especially now I know Helena has a husband.

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  33. Did Henry just curse? Does even know curse words? 
  34. “If they’re not cooked, there’s absolutely sod all I can do about it now.” Amelia, this is the GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF, would it kill you to care? 
  35. The sound of Paul cutting bread is extremely satisfying, wonder if there are any ASMR videos of this? 
  36. Googled it, there are. 
  37. Have to give it to her, Rosie's safari bread loaves are CLASS. That giraffe!! 
  38. Paul making direct eye contact at Michelle as he chomps into her loaf is quite possibly the most uncomfortable scene on television I've ever witnessed. 
  39. Ugh, I am thrilled for Michael, go call your mum. I'm so proud. 
  40. I bet my mam wouldn't even answer the phone.
  41. WHAT is that drama between Steph and Henry?? They may as well have cued the Eastenders drums after that cliffhanger.

Main image by Channel 4

READ: 57 Thoughts I Had While Watching GBBO Episode Two

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