Greta Thunberg is saving our dating lives too, as well as the planet
As we are now well acquainted with the new decade, it’s become clear that dating in the 2010s is complicated—not rocket science-complicated, but Rubik's cube-complicated at the very least.
Gone are the good old days when your sole focus was on finding someone you actually like (no easy feat in itself). Nowadays, you need a whole new vocabulary. And while most of us have heard of ghosting by now (all three versions of it), you may find yourself occasionally pretending you know what you friend means when she tells you, "Ugh, I think my Tinder date is obligaswiping me."
"Oh good," you might say, thinking that swiping is a good thing. You'd be wrong. Very Wrong.
To make sure that you never mix up fleabagging and eclipsing, caspering and cause-playing, we've put together all the dating terms you’ll need to know in 2020.
FLEABAGGING
Our undisputed lord and saviour, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, has been immortalised in this dating trend. Inspired by the exploits of her TV character, Fleabagging is when you consistently date people who are wrong for you, especially when you know they’re wrong.
SPEARFISHING
When you use your Instagram posts to target one particular love interest. For example, posting about something on your story that you know will make a particular person reply to you. Think of it like throwing a spear into the entire ocean with the intention of catching only the one fish.
DIAL-TONING
Like a phone that won’t connect, “dial-toning” is the term used to describe when someone gives you their number, only to never reply to your message after you text them. Like ghosting, except you never get through the first time. A 90s name for a modern problem.
Flashpanning
The first part of a relationship tends to be the most exciting. You can’t get enough of them. When you’re not with them, you’re wishing you were. It’s not called the honeymoon period for nothing. A flashpanner loves this warm, fuzzy feeling too. So much that they tend to jump ship after this part is over. Not cool.
GLAMBOOZLED
If you’ve ever got dolled up for a hot date only to be bailed on – or worse, ghosted – at the twelfth hour, not only have you been bamboozled, you’ve also been glamboozled. Sadly, more than half of daters have experienced this. What a waste of time and product.
Eclipsing
If Bonnie Tyler was still making music in 2019, ‘Total Eclipsing of the Heart’ would be the song of the summer. This is when someone picks up the hobbies and characteristics of the person they’re dating. *Cue that picture of Brad Pitt dressing like all of his girlfriends*.
CASPERING
Sure this is not new, per se, but it’s been doing the rounds for good reason. It’s like ghosting, only ‘friendly’. In other words, when you give someone the heads up that you’re about to ghost them.
WHITE CLAWING
When you date someone purely because you find them physically attractive, but you actually find their company as dull as dishwater. It’s essentially a more ambiguous way to say you’ve got yourself a lovely handbag of a partner.
Thunberging
“Thunberging” is a definition coined by dating website OkCupid where potential lovers bond over their shared enthusiasm for environmental issues, and so is suitably named after the world’s most famous climate change activist, Greta Thunberg. The website said it has seen a 240% increase in mentions of climate change and other environmental terms on dating profiles in the last two years. And interestingly, in 2019 there was a – wait for it – 800% increase in mentions of Thunberg specifically.
YELLOW CARDING
Not necessarily a bad thing, this is when you call someone out on their bad dating behaviour. If they glamboozle you, for instance.
Exoskeleton-ing
If you can pronounce it, this is when the ex of your current partner continues to reach out to you. When this happens, it’s probably time to cleanse those DMs, my friend.
Obligaswiping
If you’re a one-foot-in-one-foot-out kind of dating app user, this might be you. Obligaswiping describes when you endlessly swipe without any real follow-through. Sure, you might flirt a little, hang around for a chat but you have no real intention of meeting up, you're just here for the ego boost of getting matches.
KANYE-ING
If you’ve been Kanye’d, it means that you’re dating someone who can’t get enough of the sound of their own voice. These folk love talking about themselves, and you’re going to need Kim K level patience if you want a future together.
TYPECASTING
Obsessed with Myers-Briggs and love languages? Well, you might be guilty of typecasting: exclusively dating people based on compatibility. No Capricorns, etc.
CAUSE-PLAYING
This refers to when you get back in contact with an ex to ask them for something. Sort of like, “Hey, hope you’re well. Your brother’s wedding looked nice. Anyway, I’m running a marathon and was wondering if you wanted to sponsor me? Oh, you want to see me? Oh, we’re back together now? Oops.”
Main image by @2000sanxiety
READ: A Millennial's Guide To 'Love Languages'
READ MORE: In Defence Of Online Dating
