A kitchen appliance means it's time to break up... unless of course, it's a Kitchen Aid in a pretty pastel hue.
Let's get right to the heart of it, with Valentine's comes gifts and it may well be our favourite part. Before you get all judgemental, we enjoy giving just as much as we like receiving them... what's so wrong with a little showering of material love?
Valentine's Day can usually look a lot like people running to their local shop after work to purchase a last-minute (and exorbitant) box of chocolates and an all-too soppy card, but for the hopeless romantics, they're probably expecting something more sentimental.
After all, your partner is supposed to know you better than you know yourself and therefore, should have read all the signs when it comes to presents. What if, what your S.O. buys you for VDay says much more about what they think about the future of your relationship?
For example, if he/she buys you an air fryer for Cupid's national holiday, they might just think you belong in the kitchen. BYE!!! ... Although, we've actually heard good things re: air fryers.
Disclaimer: We're sure your other half is lovely, so take this with a pinch of salt – let us have our fun, okay?
What if they buy you SEXY lingerie?
If your partner is buying you sexy underwear for Valentine's, then it's clear they only have one thing on their mind. Sure, they might have picked up on you moaning about how expensive bras can be and they thought they were getting you something you need, but we can't help but think that the matching G string and stockings are more for fulfilling their needs than your own.
What if they buy you Comfy PJs?
You and your S.O. have been together for years. They've seen you in your dressing gown with a full face of Sudocrem and you fight over silly things like how they always leave their wet towel on the bed. There comes a 'comfortable' point in a relationship when comfy PJs make perfect sense as a VDay pressie - zero shade.
What if they buy you Makeup?
Let's be real, most men don't know the first thing when it comes to makeup, so if you receive a beauty-based gift this Valentine's from the man in your life, you'll probably be wanting that receipt. If you're significant other is a female, then odds are she actually listens to you and heard you gushing over the newest Charlotte Tilbury launch when you passed the counter recently, and took note on her phone to get it for you. Cute.
A Rare Vinyl By Your Favourite Singer
Wait a second, you actually care about one another?! You know what the other likes and dislikes? You want to make each other happy? You make us sick. If you're significant other goes to the trouble of sourcing something rare and of meaningful for Valentine's, then 'congrats' are in order, we'll get buying our hats! If they know you stan Lana Del Ray and took the time to search the entire internet (we're talking beyond the first page of google results) to find you a rare and special vinyl, hold on to them tight.
What if they buy yoU Jewellery?
Jewellery has become somewhat of a clichéd gift and we're not okay with that. Call us basic, but we can't think of a nicer present to unwrap on the morning of February 14 than an expensive piece of jewellery. It shows he has taste, but also that he is (quite literally) invested in your relationship. However, red flag if you find a jewellery box stashed away in his coat pocket and don't ever see it again, get the Joni Mitchell playlist at the ready, because if Love Actually has taught us anything...
A Trip Away
If you thought your new bae was just a product brought to you by cuffing season, then think again, because if they're committed enough to plan trips away, they're committed to you. Booking a holiday well in advance of the time you'll be jetting off requires full confidence that you'll still be together when it comes to packing. Now, actually going on the trip itself could be make or break for your relationship, but by booking it in the first place, it shows they were pretty assured that your two were one to last.
Quite simply, if you don't marry them, we will! Note: a dog is for life, not just for Valentine's day.