Rather than running for the hills, slow down to a brisk walk and ask yourself these questions.
Not exactly a hot take, but relationships are complicated and everyone enters into them at a different pace, depending on their personality and previous experiences.
Some fall fast, whilst others are a lot more measured, but it's important to remind yourself of this fact if you're the kind of person who tends to end a budding relationship prematurely, or at the exact moment, you suspect the other person might be more — or too — into you.
If you always end up the less-interested party when dating, before you jump the gun and shoot yourself single again, consider the below...
'interested' and 'available' are not negative adjectives
What is it with the chase and wanting what we can't have? Well, like most human behaviours, there's some scientific reasoning behind it. The more 'open' to a relationship someone is, the more real the possibility of falling in love becomes. So, in an effort to protect ourselves from the possibility of pain and loss, we might find ourselves focusing on negatives and on what we don’t like about this person.
Rushing into serious marriage+kids chats might be a red flag, but wanting to spend time together shouldn't be.
It could be them today and you tomorrow
Sure, stage-5 clingers aren't doing themselves too many favours, but just because the person you’re engaging with likes you more than you like them today, doesn’t indicate anything about how you’ll feel about them by tomorrow.
If you both get on and there's a genuine connection there, it could be worth giving them a bit more time to see if your feelings can catch up with theirs.
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You're Just Not Ready
There is an infinite number of reasons a person may not yet be ready for a relationship and often, they have little to nothing to do with the people they are dating. The next time you go to shun someone you're seeing as being too 'full-on' or too 'into it', do a self-scan before pointing your finger.
Ask yourself whether you’re honestly willing to develop feelings for this person. In a lot of cases, these 'faults' we find are just excuses, so we don't have to let down walls or be vulnerable.
Have you given them a fair shot?
We can blame Disney, but there is a fallacy surrounding instant sparks and deep connections. While it's true we do connect with some people more than others, we also feel connected to someone when we put in the effort to get to know them.
If you repeatedly meet a person in the same surroundings and deem them not for you, then you haven't really given them a fair shot to show you their different sides. Try breaking your normal dating routine to see them in a new light.
We've all been there
Been more into someone than they are into you? Of course. Been broken up with prematurely before you felt like they knew you at all? Absolutely! We've all been the more-invested party in the wild world of dating, so if roles were reversed, consider the kind of treatment you’d you want.
But if you have given it your all and there is zero potential on the horizon, don't waste each other's time. Everyone deserves to be with someone who is 100% sure about them, so don’t deny the other person the opportunity to find that.
The key to a successful relationship is not entering into it at the exact same pace, it’s ensuring that you both want it to work and are happy to help each other get there.