Is It A Red Flag If You're Not Texting Much At The Beginning Of The Relationship?

Don't worry, you're not crazy. Or alone.

Relationships are tricky.

Like snowflakes, each one is entirely different – deeming relationship enquiries all the more impossible to answer. 

When it comes to early day communication, the situation grows even more muddled – as some people have been burned by previous relationships and some need more space than others.

That, compared with dating anxiety, can lead anyone to believe that what they're doing is the wrong thing for that time. 

While there’s, unfortunately, no clear-cut answer, Well & Good spoke to sexologist Jess O'Reilly PhD to get the skinny on infrequent communicators. 

“There are no universal rules when it comes to communication, be it digital or face-to-face," she says.

 “Text as often as you’d like, but don’t play games.” 

The only thing you really should be doing, according to Dr O’Reilly, is being mindful of your new partner’s texting habits. 

“You don’t have to match their communication style, but do consider whether or not your texting is interfering with their life,” Dr O’Reilly says.

While your day is made by peppering texts to your significant other throughout the day, their constantly buzzing phone may be putting them in jeopardy at the office, or it may just be interrupting their day in a such a way that casts a negative association to you.

While it would be ideal if they could express this to you, fact remains that you can’t control the actions of others.

The best way to get to the bottom of this, as always, is to ask. However they answer, trust it, and adjust from there.

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